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kyhrsluvr
Unread post  Post subject: spousal denial  |  Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:38 am
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Does anyone out there have a spouse that denies they have problem or at the very least say it is just a normal part of getting older? :( Any luck in changing their mind? Has anyone had any success in asking the sleep lab center to show your spouse the details of your testing (I asked him to come to my follow-up appt, but he wouldn't)? Is that ever done? Just checking to see if I am alone in having to deal with this kind of problem along with just getting my diagnosis.


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colorlady
Unread post  Post subject: Re: spousal denial  |  Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 5:23 pm

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If I understand you correctly, you are saying that your spouse doesn't acknowlede that YOU have sleep apnea and that it is a serious condition that needs to be addressed. If that is correct, you may want to find some of the articles on line that are published in medical journals that talk about the potential dangers of OSA. One recently in the news is that those with untreated OSA are more likely to suffer from dimentia. The lack of oxygen to the heart and brain takes a toll on the sufferer's health. One thing that convinced me that I had to take my OSA was a video that a wife took of her husband and then posted it on You Tube. The poor guy looks about 40 and you watch him constantly stop breathing and then struggle to take in air as he keeps stirring from any kind of restful sleep. It's heartbreaking to watch. Here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1QyJu9Zt4s You'll probably need to cut and paste it into your browser.


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kyhrsluvr
Unread post  Post subject: Re: spousal denial  |  Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 6:17 pm
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Thanks for the reply. The reason he doesn't really believe it is because he doesn't hear me snore very much at all, yes some on my back, and doesn't notice the snorting/choking sounds that are associated with arrousals. He actually stayed awake recently after my diagnosis to listen to my breathing. He says he noticed it a time or two during a couple hrs time period. My dr had mentioned that due to my being female and healthy and of normal weight that I may not have the same 'loud' symtoms associated with most patients. She did say I was 'atypical'. I guess I have a narrow airway and probably over time, as I have gotten older, possible my muscle tone has decreased enough to allow OSA to develop. And to top things off, he says I don't appear more sleepy to him than normal, even though I can easily take a nap for 2 hrs on days I have off even after a seemingly normal nights sleep IF I allow myself to. I try to keep busy and I never been a complainer, so he just doesn't "see" my tiredness. Although he certainly can't say he's hasn't noticed my moddiness, irritability, etc which really isn't like me. He just is a skeptical person by nature and needs "proof" generally for unexplained things. On the positive side, things are getting better I think and he has even suggested that I try the cpap instead of trying the oral appliance first which may not work. Again, thanks for responding. I wish there were more people in this forum although it is still young, and given time and word of mouth by people like us, I believe it will really take off.


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bestcpap
Unread post  Post subject: Re: spousal denial  |  Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 1:49 pm

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I work for a retailer of CPAP equipment, and we received a document from ResMed that was promoting the use of their auto-CPAP machines for treating OSA in women. The article stated that OSA often goes undiagnosed in women because they often do not exhibit the hallmark snoring, witnessed apneas and daytime sleepiness that male patients often have. In women, the symptoms of sleep apnea more often manifest themselves in depression, fatigue, headaches and muscle pain. Women also tend to have more moderate OSA with lower AHI numbers, and their OSA is usually centered more on flow limitations (partial obstructions) than full bore apnea events.


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kyhrsluvr
Unread post  Post subject: Re: spousal denial  |  Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 3:39 pm
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Thanks so much for sharing :D . I needed to hear that, even for myself. Your description of symptoms that women with OSA may exhibit instead of the typical, sounds very much like me. Some daytime sleepiness for sure (2 hr naps on my days off are not uncommon), but fatigue, low energy, depression, muscle (and joint) pain and also more irritable and anyone who knows me, know that I am pretty laid back and usually on an even keel. Not so much in headaches fortunately.
Fortunately also, my husband has come around some :) with all I have told him and the research he himself has done. He even has suggested I go with cpap instead of the oral appliance device due to the statistics that we have seen, mostly from Jason on this forum. That is yet to be decided for sure by me (and my insurance company).


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andersgeorgsson
Unread post  Post subject: Re: spousal denial  |  Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 4:42 pm
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I just started on CPAP treatment monday the 18th, and I have a wife that snores/snortes quite frequently. I had asked her if she ever noticed me snoring - but she told me that I moan alot!? I know I haven't slept well (or longer than 4 hours) since I turned 14 - almost 30 years ago...

She is very strong minded/proud and rarely visits a doctor other than the "regular" exams... I hope that she will see the change of energy in me, as she keeps saying that she naps all day - which all three of our adopted children can attest to. Last night I was watching a show on TV trying to go to sleep and she fell asleep before me (unusual) - and she is louder than PAP machine and mask..

She tried an oral applicance that she purchased online,
but it is hurting her jaw - so she is to send it back..

_________________
/Anders Georgsson


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kyhrsluvr
Unread post  Post subject: Re: spousal denial  |  Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 5:03 pm
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I would bet that if your wife agreed to a sleep study, she would find that she too has sleep apnea. It is something that I had to hear suggested from my dr several times before I agreed to it and then when I heard the results, I was definitely in denial. But now that I have been using it for about 7 months now, I do feel much better and my husband has definitely noticed the increased energy, and decreased moodiness and grouchiness (lucky for him :) ) I will say I do not like having to use cpap and I rarely talk about it to friends or family members, but I do use it every night without fail even when I've been on trips.
Hopefully you will soon notice the improvement in your own sleep, if you haven't already, and it will convince your wife to follow up with testing for herself.


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Calla4nia
Unread post  Post subject: Re: spousal denial  |  Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2012 12:44 am

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I'm very lucky, my spouse is very supportive. But I'm sure it has alot do do with the fact before I started CPAP therapy he would shake me and wake me up. He would say, "Honey, stop doing that. You"re scaring me!" I would respond "Stop doing what?" And do you know what he'd say next?
"You quit breathing. You're SCARING ME!"
From what he tells me I would end up with a terrible gasp trying to finally get some air in.
Previous to CPAP therapy I had high blood pressure. After two years of daily use of my machine my blood pressure returned to normal! How cool is that. No more blood pressure meds for me. I don't need them. The only time I do not use my machine is when the power is off.
I know when my machine is not working properly. My heart flutters and skips beats. I also get trouble with my memory. Have trouble with remembering words.
My problem is my spouses denial that he may have a problem. He snores regularly. We go to the cardiologist together and the doctor wanted my husband to have a sleep study. But my husband told the doctor - "Don't even bother to do a referal, I won't go. I've seen what my wife goes though and I won't do it."
Unfortunately for me I had a bit of a challange with masks, sore and raw noses, uncooperative doctors and DMEs that kept sending the wrong equipment. DMEs are still challanging and I had to get another sleep doctor because the one I had would not listen to me that I was still having problems and still needed help. Finally after many months I start with new equipment tonight. As for my husband the best I can do is put my pulse oximeter on his finger if I hear him snoring and have him turn over. (Turning over usually stops the snoring.) And so far his readings have been okay.


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oncomingspork
Unread post  Post subject: Re: spousal denial  |  Posted: Sat Jan 16, 2016 11:57 pm
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I got really lucky, my sister caught me napping and not breathing. But then I went to the sleep doc and he mentioned morning headaches, which I used to get several times a week, and fluttery heart on waking, which I thought was just anxiety from a dream - I had no idea those were also OSA symptoms.

_________________
Why is Eccleston afraid of McGann?
Because McGann Hurt Eccleston!


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Brandt
Unread post  Post subject: Re: spousal denial  |  Posted: Sun Jan 17, 2016 6:20 pm

Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2015 10:57 am
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If anyone need proof to show a copy of you sleep test if you can get it. You can download SleepHead and see the data you cpap shows. You can see when you stop breathing.


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